Reason and Romance (River Valley Book 1) Page 5

  The sight of Alex cleared her mind. He was lounging at a table behind Justin and Bri, leaning back on his forearms. His friends were all talking, Mandy in particular, but somehow Adrian didn’t think he was paying any attention to them.

  He met her eyes.

  Outrage flashed through her like lightning. Had he sent Justin over to her side? Throwing her a life preserver, so to speak? Did he think she needed his help? Either way, Alex was making no secret that he was openly listening.

  It took all of her restraint not to strangle him. Had she actually been on the verge of accepting Justin’s invitation? Pride was the only thing she had going, and she’d cling to it with bloody nubs of fingers, if she had to. Fuck Alex, fuck his friends. She’d be lonely then, but at least she’d have her pride intact.

  Adrian turned back to Justin. “Thanks, but no. You’re not sorry for me. You’re just grateful that it’s not you taking the heat.” She patted him on the arm. “So why don’t we pretend this conversation never happened, okay?”

  He gaped at her. “What? I only …”

  She waggled her fingers in a cheery wave. “Better stay away from me. The more you talk to me, the more your social position tumbles. We don’t want that, do we?”

  Alex’s low chuckle was infuriating. Adrian didn’t spare him a glance, nor did she look back at Justin when she walked away.

  It was so hard. She could just see her future stretching out in a bleak succession of days. She’d probably get in a fight with Mr. Melbourne, go to the dean’s office, and serve detention. Sit outside in the heat because no one else wanted to sit with her. Stay home on the weekend because no one wanted to hang out with her.

  It was almost enough to make her return to Justin and accept his invitation. Even as she thought of it, she could feel the weight of Alex’s gaze. He didn’t believe she could survive without his help. Well, they’d see about that.

  Nobody would ever know she was this close to breaking.

  Her mouth crooked into a smile as the whispers enveloped her once again. By the end of her afternoon classes, her face had shifted into a plastic mask. Even in the detention room, the other kids avoided her. So much for solidarity.

  The final blow came that very same night. She was lying in bed, working on the revised essay for Melbourne, when her phone rang. Since it was ten o’clock, she reached for the cell with some surprise. No one would call her—Jason!

  Almost immediately, the questions set in. Where have you been? Why have you been avoiding me? Why haven’t you called me? Do you still love me?

  “Jason,” she said, but even she could hear the stiffness in her voice. Why was her hand trembling even as she gripped her phone?

  “Adrian,” he said, and in that one word she heard the end. Even Mr. Melbourne said her name with more warmth.

  Don’t do this to me.

  He did.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  It hurt so damn much.

  She lay in her bed, but in the end there weren’t any tears. The first major breakup she’d had in years—seventh grade didn’t count—and she couldn’t squeeze a lousy tear out. He’d cheated on her with Stephanie Frost, a one-time friend of hers! Some waterworks would have been appropriate, but oh no, she was Adrian Blake, the Ice Queen, and ice queens didn’t cry.

  Why can’t I?

  Maybe she really was the bitch everyone said she was. Or the desert heat had dried all the moisture from her eyes. Whatever the reason was, it meant she couldn’t grieve. She could only stare at the dim moonlight filtering through her window blinds and think about her boyfriend—make that ex-boyfriend—in bed with Stephanie. Cuddling together, kissing, touching …

  The images were so gruesome that she wanted to turn her mental film projector off, but she had an accompanying commentary, thanks to Jason.

  He’d tried to stay loyal to Adrian, he’d claimed over the phone before she’d hung up on him, but he’d grown “close” to Stephanie in the last few months. Adrian had been so cold and so distant and so preoccupied with her family problems, and Stephanie had always been there for him, so warm and so friendly and so understanding. Jason had tried to battle his feelings for Stephanie, but damn it, he was human.

  It was all bullshit, and Adrian knew it, but all the same, he’d lobbed one or two particularly nasty barbs her way. “You never really let me touch you,” he’d vented as he’d explained his attraction to Stephanie. “I had to beg you for sex! That’s just not normal, Adrian. You don’t make me feel like a guy.”

  Well, he’d found a warm welcome in Stephanie’s arms.

  To make things even worse, Jason wasn’t the only one enjoying himself because, even in her bedroom, Adrian could still hear muffled laughter and feminine gasps drifting from Alex’s room. It was Thursday night, not even the weekend yet, but that didn’t stop him from inviting his on-and-off girlfriend over. And if those sounds were anything to judge by, Mandy Fitzpatrick was having one hell of a time.

  Oh yes, Adrian didn’t know who she despised more: Jason or Alex. Granted, Alex didn’t know she’d been dumped—no one in the family knew, thank you very much—but it was like having sandpaper rubbed against her skin.

  Everywhere she looked, she saw happy couples. Her father and Karen exchanged little smiles when they thought no one was watching. Her grandmother had a new boyfriend. Hell, the old lady was in her sixties, but she’d managed to land a man. What did that tell you?

  Adrian had never really thought she had to have a boyfriend, but it had been nice to cuddle with Jason on the couch. They’d gone to the movies and shared popcorn. They’d had inside jokes, all of those couple-y things that no one else could understand. Maybe Jason hadn’t exactly rocked her world in bed, but she’d liked him holding her after.

  Another moan sounded from Alex’s room. Then another one. At this rate, Mandy would wake up the entire house. Somehow Adrian didn’t think Alex’s mother would approve if she knew what her oldest son was getting up to.

  Adrian huddled under her blankets. It was just too gross listening to them, but it wasn’t as if she had a choice. Where could she go? She had no friends in Arizona. She didn’t even have a single girlfriend to eat ice-cream with, and spill her heart out to. Oh, she had friends back in Chicago, but they weren’t here. And she had the sneaking suspicion that some of them had known about Jason and Stephanie.

  No, she wasn’t going to call them. She wouldn’t have them tell people that she was grieving over Jason. That bastard had already changed his online status. He was in a relationship with Stephanie, and thanks to the school network, everyone most certainly knew.

  Adrian Blake: Single.

  Changing her status had been one of the hardest things she’d done. When she’d clicked on it, she’d severed her last connection with Jason. Three years gone. Just over like that. Pass Go and collect your two hundred bucks.

  Out of curiosity, she’d clicked over to her sister’s social media profile. As she’d expected, Nicky had already friended Alex and his friends. Most of the information was private, but some profile pictures weren’t, so Adrian saw plenty of Alex and his friends.

  One of the pictures had Alex sprawled in a lawn chair. He wasn’t wearing anything special, a T-shirt and jeans, but Adrian had stared at the image for more than a few seconds before she could berate herself for being so stupid. He’d tipped his head back and smiled at the camera. As ever, there was more than a hint of challenge in his smile. It was precisely the kind that would have other guys bristling and all girls swooning over him.

  Like it or not, Alex Montgomery was devastating.

  Yes. That was the right word to describe him. Alone, in the privacy of her bedroom, Adrian could finally acknowledge just how attractive he was. And just how often he seemed to change girls as easily as one sneezed. She didn’t have full access to his profile, but the pictures sure seemed to showcase an endless list of girls who he’d undoubtedly been with. Did he dump them without any warning as Jason had done? Or did he do the gentlemanly th
ing and let them end the relationship?

  Another moan. What exactly was Alex doing that had Mandy in throes of rapture? Adrian didn’t want to know, but at the same time, a part of her wondered.

  Angry with herself, she pulled the blankets over her head. She was stretched out like a rubber band. Bumfuck Arizona with its obliviousness and ugliness was pulling at one end. Chicago with all of its memories was at the other end. Rubber bands snapped eventually, didn’t they?

  It was a question she didn’t have an answer for.

  Her wounds bled anew in AP English. She’d taken unusual care with her makeup to camouflage the dark circles under her eyes. No sleep last night, thanks to the unholy trinity of Jason, Alex, and Mandy. But, really, why had she even bothered to dress up for school? It wasn’t like anyone was paying attention.

  No, her classmates were talking about a party of all things. “What are you wearing to the party tonight?” and “Are you going?” were the two most common comments she heard in the last five minutes before class started.

  Someone called out to Alex. “Hey, man, you going?”

  Maybe it was just Adrian’s imagination, but the whole class seemed to hold its collective breath, awaiting his Majesty’s response. “I wouldn’t miss it,” Alex replied.

  Adrian closed her eyes momentarily against a fresh wave of pain. It was the first time she’d heard about such a party, and of course, no one had thought to invite her. Why would they? One week here, and she’d made no friends. It meant she had to stay home alone and brood over Jason and Stephanie.

  Now she had a nervous tic under her right eye, a pounding headache, and a broken heart. And not a soul knew or cared. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Mr. Melbourne was the only person who paid attention to her.

  “Did you do the reading last night, Ms. Blake?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Then summarize it for your classmates. Don’t look at your notes. If you have to use them, obviously you didn’t read the chapter. Well? Speak up!”

  That mental rubber band stretched and stretched, as she stared into his mean eyes. For a brief, glorious moment she visualized herself leaping over her desk and stabbing him with her pencil. Oh yes. She could do it.

  Do not fuck with me right now.

  His brows drew together. Maybe he sensed the waves of hatred emanating from her—or maybe, like a true predator, he sensed weakness. He actually moved in until he was thrusting his face into her personal space.

  “Did you not hear me, Ms. Blake? Are you deaf?”

  The world narrowed until she could only see his face. He was everything she hated about Arizona. He was Arizona. Her knuckles whitened around her pencil. What are you waiting for, Adrian? He’s right here! It was crazy, but what did she have to lose?

  “Sir? Can I have a hallway pass?” someone called out.

  The interruption shocked Adrian back into her senses. She was suddenly and terribly conscious that the classroom had been very, very quiet. Had the kids watched her and Mr. Melbourne the whole time?

  “Sir?”

  The teacher blinked and Adrian saw she hadn’t been the only one caught up in this silent battle of wills. He tore his gaze away from her.

  “What?” he snapped.

  Adrian glanced over her shoulder. Surprise flickered inside her when she saw it had been Justin Latimer who’d spoken up. He was one of Alex’s closest friends, wasn’t he? From the slight flush that reddened his cheeks, she didn’t think Justin really needed a hallway pass that badly. So why had he intervened?

  Her eyes met Alex’s, and he nodded slightly.

  That rubber band pulled even tighter. She bit the inside of her cheek and leveled him with a cool stare. Had she really been a heartbeat away from losing her mind and stabbing the teacher? Why had Justin helped her? Sincere or not, he was the only one who had bothered to leap into her fray with Mr. Melbourne.

  The teacher went over to his desk to write a pass. He didn’t call upon her again for the rest of the class period. Even though he left her alone, she could still feel the other kids’ stares burning holes in the back of her head. They probably thought she was crazy. Or maybe they thought she was on the verge of a breakdown. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.

  A constant buzz hummed in her ears. She saw and heard her classmates and the teacher speak and move around the classroom, but after the bell rang, she couldn’t have said what they were talking about. Her next class was … damn it, she didn’t know or care.

  The rubber band drew taut, then it broke.

  Adrian picked up her pace. By the time she’d reached the parking lot, she was at a dead run. Her car had finally arrived from Chicago, so she flung herself into the driver’s seat and peeled out of the lot in a screech of tires.

  A tear fell, then another one. Adrian angrily wiped away the tears with the back of her hand, but the action only made her cry harder. Why now? Last night had been the time for it, but oh no, she had to cry now!

  Cursing and weeping, she wove in and out of the traffic lanes, music on full blast. Home. She had to get home. Bumfuck Arizona wasn’t that, and thanks to a weak boyfriend who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants, Chicago wasn’t it anymore.

  When she nearly clipped another car, she knew she couldn’t keep on driving. She pulled into a grocery store’s parking lot. It was safe since no one from her school would presumably come here during class time.

  She crawled into her car’s backseat and did what she’d wanted to do for days: curl up in a fetal position. Sobbing, Adrian rocked back and forth, turning her face into the crook of her arm. She knew kids at school considered her arrogant, but that was just a lie. She had feelings, she did!

  She gave herself over to despair. It reached inside her and uprooted everything she’d shoved into a dark place: the resentment for her father making such a hasty decision, the shameful need to want friends, the shock of having the last cornerstone of her life torn away, and now this.

  Oh God. How could she bear it? She’d counted on Jason to reinforce her sanity and give her some strength. And now he’d abandoned her, just like her father and Nicky. Just like her mother. That last thought brought a fresh wave of pain.

  I hate you, Mother. I hate you, I hate you, I hate …

  The hesitant knock on her window jolted her out of her daze. She pushed herself upright, blinking away some tears. Then she blinked again when she saw a vaguely familiar face at the window, his hand cupped around his eyes.

  “Are you okay in there?” he called out.

  It took a moment to place him. Travis Cates, that kid from Dean Efken’s office. She hesitated, then reached over and unlocked the door.

  He ducked his head inside the car. “Hey …” he said, voice trailing off as he gave her a quick look-over. “I saw you drive up here. Are you okay?”

  She didn’t know what to say to that. “What are you doing here?” she asked instead.

  His smile was sheepish. “There’s a good spot behind the store.” Sucking air through his mouth, he sketched a vague gesture around his mouth. “Some kids go there and you know …”

  “Right,” she said, now understanding the place must be where the stoners met. “Well, thank you for checking up on me. I appreciate it; I really do.”

  Travis didn’t seem to notice he’d been dismissed. “What did the fuckers do to you?” he said, hanging his arm on the car’s roof. “Who was it? The English prick or …”

  “No. My boyfriend dumped me.” To her mortification, tears welled up in her eyes.

  He shook his head. “Damn shame.”

  “Damn straight. He slept with my friend.” Sniffling, she wiped at her eyes. “He slept with her before I left Chicago. Can you believe it?”

  Travis hopped inside the car with her, his left leg dangling outside. As always, a sweet aroma clung to him, but this time, it was actually a comfort. At least you knew what you were getting with Travis Cates.

  “That’s just not cool,” he said.

  H
er voice was a strangled sob. “No, it’s not. No one talks to me. My dad’s so busy with his new, stupid fiancée that he doesn’t have time for me. My sister’s hanging around Alex like a starry-eyed groupie. My other sister’s getting in fights. Alex treats me like dirt, and his brothers avoid me. The teachers hate me …”

  The world narrowed down to the pain in her chest. “I hate it here! I hate Arizona! I fucking hate the desert and the stupid cacti. I want to go back home, but Jason’s in Chicago. I loved him—”

  “Loved or love?” Travis cut in.

  What a stupid question. Or was it? Things hadn’t been right between her and Jason for a long time, but every couple always went through a rough patch or two.

  She shrugged it off. “I don’t have any friends here.”

  “But you have me.”

  “What?”

  “Dude, we’re friends,” Travis said as if it were obvious. “Anybody who’s on Melbourne’s shit list is gold with me. And you always smell good.” From the way he said it, he considered it a princely compliment. “Is that passion fruit shampoo?”

  Adrian got her first real laugh in days. “Oh, Travis.”

  Now he looked hurt. “You don’t think we’re friends?”

  “No, we are,” she reassured him hastily. She hadn’t thought of him as a friend, but she wasn’t about to turn him down. “It’s just … I don’t know what to do.”

  “Life blows. Want some?”

  It took her a few seconds to figure out he was offering up some of his pot. “No, that’s okay. You can keep it.”

  Clearly worried, Travis shook his head. “Want some breakfast?” he said, gnawing on his lower lip. “Bet you didn’t eat anything.”